Depression is Anger
I keep thinking about Depression, particularly since reading Psycho Kitty's post.
I've been there, I know the dark hours, the insomnia, the fear. All those desperate feelings. From 1998 to 2001 I was standing on a bridge almost every day, ready to jump.
I didn't.
That cognitive therapy book by David Burns helped a lot, yeah, but now that I'm over the worst part I really think I was so angry that I was forced to do things I didn't want to. And nobody understood what I wanted and who I was, so I felt lonely and desperate. I always felt like I had to integrate myself into a society in which I don't belong to.
Now I think those people where just assholes, and I am a person of myself, and I am fine doing research what only about 500 people in the world do.
But my depression was really anger in disguise, so I am wondering whether this is always the case.
I've been there, I know the dark hours, the insomnia, the fear. All those desperate feelings. From 1998 to 2001 I was standing on a bridge almost every day, ready to jump.
I didn't.
That cognitive therapy book by David Burns helped a lot, yeah, but now that I'm over the worst part I really think I was so angry that I was forced to do things I didn't want to. And nobody understood what I wanted and who I was, so I felt lonely and desperate. I always felt like I had to integrate myself into a society in which I don't belong to.
Now I think those people where just assholes, and I am a person of myself, and I am fine doing research what only about 500 people in the world do.
But my depression was really anger in disguise, so I am wondering whether this is always the case.
posted by Wanna Be PhD | 4:13 AM
1 Comments:
why are we all depressed? that's like the grad student/prof thing to do? Is there a club we could all join? Yeah I know it's not really funny, but in a sad way it is.
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