Wanna Be PhD

PhD 2006. Now fully blown by the Postdoc Experience.

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Location: My Appartment, Academic Nowhereland

Email: wannabephd@gmail.com

Saturday, June 25, 2005

On pain

Stewgad discusses the apparent normalness of pain:

AND they told me that pain isn't normal. Huh? The therapist I was working with told me that all the grad students that come in are shocked when they get told this fact - that we all seem to live with some degree of pain, and expect that it is normal.

Well, having experienced similar conditions of the spine, I have made some thoughts about pain. It was always clear to me that my body must not hurt. Not any part of it. And when the spine problem appeared, it hurt so much I just had to cry. Couldn't stop. But what I have learned through this whole process of illness is, that my soul must not hurt either. This was absolutely new to me. Being seriously depressed since I was about 15 I thought I was fine when I didn't have any suicidal thoughts anymore. But then, I thought: how much has my body got to hurt me until I cry? And, is it the same degree of pain (but now emotional pain) that makes me cry on other occasions? I guess it is.

And now I think something is really going wrong if I cry because of emotional distress. And something is really fucking going wrong when I cry because the things happening at My Department or with Ex My Mr Perfect.

Remember: Pain isn't normal. Emotional pain isn't normal.

1 Comments:

Blogger Josh said...

Yeah, but who's normal anyway? What's normal?

Thursday, July 07, 2005 9:28:00 AM  

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