Personal Development

Before I start: Sorry that I do not comment regularly these days, I'm still in Another Town where I have only this slow and expensive phone connection.

Today I felt that I have grown emotionally. I feel so relieved! Let me tell you:

1. I told that friend of mine, who was one of the reasons why I left My Hown Town, that I feel that he is trying to blackmail me emotionally and that I do not want this. (i.e. I told him to fuck up!).
   He partly understood my message. I just hate him. I think he was getting more on my nerves than I thought he was. I think one of the reasons that I wasn't going out much lately was that he kept calling and asking me if I wanted to see him. And that was really in an awful and intimidating way.
   
2. I found out why I couldn't eat when My Mr Perfect took me out for lunch the last time. It was because he once told me not to have feelings. I do have them, but I always kept them secret. I couldn't eat because I wanted to talk about emotions and I didn't feel comfortable. I didn't want to tell him that I love him. I might have said that I enjoy his company. ...
   
3. I found out how much I need my art life. I miss my cello SO much. I always thought I was only interested in art because of My Mr Perfect but this is not true. I am interested in literature since ever, and I just want to get the whole picture including contemporary music and paining.