Wanna Be PhD

PhD 2006. Now fully blown by the Postdoc Experience.

Location: My Appartment, Academic Nowhereland

Email: wannabephd@gmail.com

Monday, January 31, 2005

Moving Thoughts

I didn't finish the chapter and I didn't write the abstract.
I guess I'm just a little depressed, always tired and unable to work. I reread my therapy book yesterday night. I will be fine. Just got to deal with the depression.

I have the following reasons for going to Another Town. A friend of mine is so upset about it, but I can't tell him the true reasons (because he's part of them):

  • All close friends are married by now or are getting married. They have a family life now. I do not have daily phone calls anymore.

  • All close friends have jobs now. So they do not have time during the day and they are tired (or working) in the evenings.

  • I have no boyfriend or husband.
  • I work on my own in my appartment.
  • I want to have some colleagues around to talk to (I will have this in Another Town because I get an office there).
  • I want to have a close friend to talk to (hopefully I will find one there; or hopefully My Mr Perfect will be).
  • All the people I have contact with are my mom and that friend who is upset now.
  • That friend and I have different goals for life. I do not love him. I will not have a family with him. He is not in academia. etc.
  • I mostly see old people when I get out of My Appartment.


Blogger jo(e) said...

Just stopping by to say hello. This time of year sucks. You aren't alone.

Wednesday, February 02, 2005 4:30:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

yeah, lots of people seem to be having a rough time right now.

Its funny, when you're married with the kid and the house and the dog, you envy the life of the unattached single person. Time to think! peace and quiet! Space to work! But there is a lot of lonliness that comes with that life too. There are upsides and downsides to both.

And it is hard sometimes, being married, to know how to continue friendships with single folks. you don't want to stop seeing them, but it happens so often. Why is that? I don't know. And it is worse when you have a baby. I used to hang out with friends in bars until all hours. Those days are gone and so are some of those friends.

Anyway, I hope that you are able to find some people to connect with when you get to your new situation.

Thursday, February 03, 2005 1:29:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Clicked on you blog and just wanted to say hi and hope you're okay. Depression is Very tough to deal with, and the isolation that can come with academia can certainly add to it, if not wholely induce fits of it! (I'm speaking from personal experience, too.) Why not try to talk to someone (counsellor, therpist) through your university? The fees will probably be covered with your registration (not sure how it works at yours), and it is a great way to try to deal with the heaviness of your feelings and situation. Just having someone to talk with openly and honestly takes some on the pressure and lonliness away, although it can also open up some floodgates. But, if you are going to deal with this effectively, that might not be such a bad thing! Consider it; I have found it helpful and hopefuly so will you. Good luck and, as Joe said, you are not alone :) Take care of yourself. (One thing that may help immediately is exercise: something as simple as talking a walk outside for 15 minutes when you feel the urge to get/stay in bed may help you clear your head and keep you awake and more willing to focus on you work.) :) Diane

Thursday, February 03, 2005 9:39:00 PM  

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