Wanna Be PhD

PhD 2006. Now fully blown by the Postdoc Experience.

Location: My Appartment, Academic Nowhereland

Email: wannabephd@gmail.com

Friday, December 31, 2004

Currently reading: First Person

I promised to tell you what I am currently reading that exites me so much. It is a Xmas present from me to myself. It is about New Media and Computer Games. I've been always interested in toys and I've been playing video games since the first Nintendo System has been sold. So, I am keen on reading an academic book about it. Besides the content, the authors refer to many scholars of literature theory and aesthetics. I have not studied literature theory, so this is quite new to me. In particular, nobody teaches ''real'' literature theory at My University. The only thing they do is give seminars on different authors or different periods of time, but there is no course on the theoretical background. I have only read a short introduction to postmodernism which I found fascinating.

BTW this was in Paris 1 1/2 years ago. As I don't speak French, I had to buy some English books there for entertainment.

After that book I knew why Pynchon got famous. Before, I've read half of his V. and thought it was so absurd how could it ever happen that this got ever published, or famous.
Now I know. It is all about the postmodern deconstruction :-)

So, I am so much exited about that book on computer games, because it teaches me cultural theory and it talks about games which I grew up with.

Thursday, December 30, 2004

Mr Incredible and My Mr Perfect

I saw ''The Incredibles'' yesterday. It was very amazing... Mr Incredible really resembled My Mr Perfect, particularly w.r.t. the neck. VERY SEXY! My Mr Perfect is just not that muscular.

The Wave

I just learned that a friend of mine who wanted to spend her holidays in Sri Lanka didn't go there, because her flight was scheduled after the earthquake had already happened.
Yes, I did start to worry in the last couple of days.

Wednesday, December 29, 2004

Hi folks, I'm back

OK, nobody really reads this (guess I am a pretty bad writer) but I'm back again! I had really terrible holidays, I knew why I feared them. Before Christmas I tried to buy some presents, but at the second shop I had a complete break-down. I had such period pains that I robbed to the next pharmacy, bought some drugs and went to a café to calm down.

The next day I had to go to my grandma's place without any real presents. I didn't care anyway. At grandma's it was disgusting as ever. No internet. No privacy. No time to relax. Five movies a day on TV and loads and loads of cookies. Now my face really looks bad, it is covered with spots.

Anyway, I'm back at My Appartment now and happy again. I just watched ''The Incredibles'' which I really enjoyed. And I got books for over 100 $ yesterday, my christmas present from me. They are really COOL. I'll tell you more soon.

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

Prof-Student Relationship

So, these happen so often because profs seem powerful and intelligent. hm, ok. Power makes men sexy, that's supposed to be true.

I think it happens very often and not only in academia that there are relationships that have a "power" aspect. In general, women can get into real trouble when their partners leave them. They have no money, no job, they are hurt emotionally and financially, often even physically. Sometimes they even have to fight for their children.
So, I think, abusive relationships are not only in academia.

I agree that it's not a good idea to fuck a prof that is going to grade one, but if it is just a guy from the same field or the same department? Maybe some scholars really, really like their subject, and they seem weird to "common" people, so that's the reason why they have relationships with each other. They want to have someone to talk to. Someone who likes the same things.


Last Saturday the baby of my best friend was born. I could never imagine that this is so -- well, such a powerful experience. I am still rotating and can't really understand that there is a new life. That it is part of my best friend. That my best friend duplicated himself. I can't understand that there is "birth" because this little baby comes, and it is completely finished. It was the same a week ago, but then it wasn't born yet, it was still in it's mummy's belly.
So, giving birth is such an experience. The child is already there but it has to suffer to get born.
Well, I'm still overwhelmed.

And, good thing no. 2: My Mr Perfect called this morning. He woke me up. I was so sleepy that I had no control of myself. I was so happy to hear his voice, that I said, "no, no you do not disturb. Well, I went to bed at 3:30 a.m. but I am so glad you called now". And then I just giggled and laughed because I'm so happy.
Guess he thinks I've completely gone crazy.

Friday, December 10, 2004

Make Tenure Fast

Read more how it works.

Wednesday, December 08, 2004


This afternoon I recorded myself playing the cello. I used the built in microphone in my laptop. Then I experimented a bit with all the sounds and filters there are in Garage Band. The result is, well, not too bad for the first try. I have to work on my timing. The best thing to do next is have some background rythm over headphones while I play.

As soon as I think I have reached enough quality, I might post an mp3 here.

Anyway, I think my laptop and my cello are very COOL.

Fish Fingers II

Now I know why these fish fingers I ate a couple of days ago tasted so horrible. The oil I used expired in October 2003. I just had to flush down a salad because of this. I guess I give those fish fingers another try.

Monday, December 06, 2004

Why: professors and grad students

Following a discussion at profgrrrrl's, I want to know: why does this happen so often that grad students and their profs fall in love? Is it really love or do they just pretend in order to get a job? Or are the students only abused by their supervisors?

Saturday, December 04, 2004


Just hoovered my apt. Feel cleaner now. Im gonna wipe my desk and empty the bins.

A neat apt really makes me happy.
I'm gonna have coffe with a friend, later.

Friday, December 03, 2004

Giving up

Why am I not able to have a nice week end?? I tried to work the whole day, unsuccessfully. Now: No disco, no work done, still dirty and filthy appartment.

Now I'm gonna go to bed and read a book.

Friday Night Adventure

It is Friday night, almost midnight, and I really really really want to go out. But: No friend reachable by phone. All either working or already gone out. I wonder if I just should go and try out a new club on my own? I am getting tired soon, and everything is 30 mins car ride away. And there might be no parking lot. And I would like to have a DRINK (I almost never feel like drinking), that's impossible too with the car. And I don't like taxis.

Thursday, December 02, 2004


I just noticed that all the academic books I always wanted to buy really got CHEAPER! I guess that has something to do with USD getting cheaper every day. I didn't know that something ecomomical would ever make me happy.

Usually, I photocopy books because they are way too expensive to buy.
Maybe this christmas will be different. Maybe I will get some really COOL presents (=some of those books...).