will I think of this final days as romantic?
Exactly 4 years ago I started to work at a company. It didn't fell romantic at all, but now it does. I remeber when I was there for the interview. My mom drove me there and we had a coffe afterwards. And I remember my last day when I got a huge bunch of flowers and then met with a friend at exactly the same cafe (-you guessed it, it is close to the office building-).
At that time, did I feel that I was young? That I had every chance? That my life was starting?
No, I don't think so. Rather, I was scared. I had just completed my MA thesis and was waiting for the defense. I was shocked by the people who worked at the office. Communication was very difficult for me at that time. It was exhausting for me to interact with those colleagues.
I think I am more mature now. I wouldn't mind working at an office now. And I would have no problems with interaction. Now I know these are just ordinary people. And that I am quite ordinary as well, except for my research interests. But, so what. Other people are interested in sports, I am interested in research. One doesn't have to share everything.
Now I feel that my life is starting. I am not scared at all. I know I can make the money I need. I feel like nothing bad can happen to me, like: I am able to handle all sorts of situiations. Getting a job, applying for a grant, dealing with extreme personalities, moving to a foreign country, finding an apartment, etc.
Somehow, If I think of it this way, it is not the content of the dissertation that shaped my character during grad school life. Rather, it is the exposure to all sorts of unpleasant situations which I really managed to cope with. Guess grad school was a lesson for life I don't want to miss.